Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Yearning For Another World

A world between dream and reality, a distortable realm that abides and defies logic all at once. That is how I think about this memoir. Slater takes us into this tale of her life that forces the reader to question its plausibility, but also empathize with Lauren herself. She starts off describing her epilepsy and the episodes that she has, but she describes these episodes as worlds that she enters. The Jasmine World, the world where she fell into the water and saw the boy, and I even consider where she imagined falling into the grave one of the worlds. I feel a bit disturbed by the fact that she is turning something negative into this euphoric sensation. However, I believe that she is justified in this conversion. Her mother and her have this strange relationship that I cannot fully understand. It has respect, resentment, love, and other elements that escape me. Yet, the two most prominent underlying elements are love and hate. Lauren seems to want to escape from her mother, but in a metaphorical sense. For example, when the policeman asked Lauren if she had epilepsy, in an attempt to determine if the mother was abusive or not, Lauren was silent. Inside her mind she wanted to give an answer, but she was stricken with ineffability. That hesitation to decide what she wanted, and the overall silence hints at the idea that Lauren wants to be away. This goes for the same with her other epileptic trips, where she experiences a new sensation. Also, I believe she wants to escape from more than just her mother. I believe she wants to escape from her life itself, and the special school she went to proves that. It was a new experience, a happy time in her life. Even in her falling into the grave world, she reminisced about the sisters and nuns greeting her happily as she fell. She saw outstretched arms with hands reaching out to her, but could not find her mother's hand or face. In this instance, I felt that her mother represented her life, her physical one. I am thinking that Lauren wants to escape into her mind, maybe she even wants to escape into her epilepsy. Overall, though, I am starting to think that these epileptic episodes are the physical representation of her wanting to escape.

No comments:

Post a Comment