Shakespeare's Sonnet 138

SONNET 138

When my love swears that she is made of truth
I do believe her, though I know she lies,
That she might think me some untutor'd youth,
Unlearned in the world's false subtleties.
Thus vainly thinking that she thinks me young,
Although she knows my days are past the best,
Simply I credit her false speaking tongue:
On both sides thus is simple truth suppress'd.
But wherefore says she not she is unjust?
And wherefore say not I that I am old?
O, love's best habit is in seeming trust,
And age in love loves not to have years told:
Therefore I lie with her and she with me,
And in our faults by lies we flatter'd be.

This poem has a speaker who says he knows his love is lying to him but he believes her anyway. Or at least he pretends to believe her so she will think he is young and naive and not as old as he really is. And she apparently pretends to believe this of him, although she knows he is not young. Both parties know the other is lying, and they also know the other knows of both sets of falsehoods. They tolerate each other's lies because they wish to have their own lies tolerated. So that's what they do and are flattered and seemingly happy with the situation. This is just another good example of why people tell lies, and how we can accept lies as truth even when we know they're not. People choose to believe what they will, for whatever reasons they will. Our truth is what we choose it to be, just like the two lovers in this poem. Our own versions of the truth do not depend on actual factuality necessarily; sometimes we all choose to believe something different. It may be because we need to, like in Life of Pi, or it may be for far less noble reasons, like in this sonnet where it's born of vanity and ego and a desire to be flattered. For whatever reasons, we all choose what "truth" we will believe.

Emily Dickenson's Tell All the Truth

Tell all the truth but tell it slant, Success in circuit lies, Too bright for our infirm delight The truth's superb surprise; As lightning to the children eased With explanation kind, The truth must dazzle gradually Or every man be blind. This is a very short poem, but it states quite succinctly the sort of ideas we have been discussing in class. Dickenson says one should tell all the truth, but tell it slant. So she's saying that a person can actually tell the "truth" while not exactly telling the entire facts. She goes on to say why it's okay to do that--that the truth can be too bright a surprise for people, that the truth must be eased into kindly and gently or else it would overwhelm us all. I like how she compares it to explaining lightning to children. That's something that could easily frighten a child a lot, much like the truth can frighten any one of us. But then she says it "dazzles", and I love that too--the truth as something that can enlighten us, impress us, inspire us. Dickenson knows that's something we have to come to gradually. I like this take on why the truth can be slanted; for such a short poem it has quite a message, even though it's presented subtly.

Memories

This semester we discussed memory, truth, and lies, during every meeting. Lucille Clifton’s poem relates well with our topics. In our four books we are constantly reminded that the authors were lying to us, but we were given the choice to choose which version we like better. Clifton’s poem does not tell us if her memories are lies or if “their” memories are lies but it shows the controversy between author and reader. She is choosing her memories rather than “theirs”, just like how Martel gave us the opportunity to believe the “better story” or how O’Brien gave us “story-truth”. During an interview, Clifton tells her readers that she wrote this poem because her and her sister had been discussing childhood memories for a book, but it was difficult to pinpoint all the details. This relates to the way Briony believed her story but did not know all of the details. The lacks of lines symbolize the lack of details she has in her actual memories, still she chooses to believe them. “Why Some People Be Mad at Me Sometimes” basically just wrapped up our class in four lines.

Final Exam, etc.

By way of clarification, the final exam is not on May 5. There is an error on the assignment schedule (thanks to Jessica and Margie for pointing this out). The final exam is on May 3 (next Tuesday), from 10:30 AM to 12:30 PM. This is obviously earlier than we usually meet, so please make arrangements to be there. I will discuss the final exam with you when I see you on Thursday so that you will know what to expect.

I also mentioned the possibility of making up some blogs. For every one of the following poems, stories, or films you read/watch and post a response to, I will make up one missed blog. (I'm putting you on your honor here. If you have already seen one of these films you will need to watch it again in order to post about it.) The responses should be of (at least) normal length, and they should discuss how these works fit in with what we have already read this semester. What themes are the same? How are they treated similarly or differently? What new insight do they offer into the questions we have been asking?

Poems:
1. Philip Levine: "The Simple Truth"
2. Lucille Clifton: "Why Some People Be Mad at Me Sometimes"
3. Emily Dickinson: "Tell All the Truth"
4. Robert Penn Warren: "A Way to Love God"
5. William Shakespeare: Sonnet 138
6. Edward Thomas: "Old Man"

Stories:
1. John Cheever: "The Swimmer"
2. Charlotte Perkins Gilman: "The Yellow Wallpaper"
3. John Updike: "A&P"

Films:
1. Memento
2. Fight Club
3. Big Fish
4. The Usual Suspects
5. The Neverending Story

Self-Forgiveness

Briony is able to atone for her actions, in her mind, by forgiving herself. She says she wanted to give Cecilia and Robbie the happy life they deserved. She convinces herself that by giving them a faux life by means of literature, she has redeemed herself. She was able to bear her mistake, and instead of sulking about it, she did the best thing of which she could think by giving them the happy life they deserved in her novel, albeit a fantasy. It was a grave mistake, and I think she would have found more efficacy by making amends with Cecilia, rather than keeping it all to herself and living in a land as real as Hoth or Tatooine.

Subtlety, Rather Than Blatancy

The ending of Atonement had a unique feel to it, almost as if I already knew the ending; or that I have already accepted it. I do not mean that I knew the exact ending or the events that would occur, but rather I knew the emotion or reaction I would give. Surely enough, I had the feeling of indifference or more appropriately, contentment. In the other books I always had this lingering longing for closure in the endings. The open-ended interpretations kept expanding the boundaries of truth. In, The Things They Carried, there was an obvious contrast between story-truth and happening-truth since O'Brien directly tells you what is fact and fiction. Through this, O'Brien made the reader wonder what is actually considered truth and what is not. In, Life of Pi, Pi describes two ideal stories of which both fully explain what had happened to Pi. The two contrasting stories gave the reader a sense of truth being used in a unique manner. By Pi using animals in his first story, he gave a deeper meaning it rather than giving dry, yeastless facts. In, Lying, Slater presents this idea of lying as being actual truth. Despite her lying about her epilepsy, or her lying about not having epilepsy, she ultimately wrote a memoir about her life by using epilepsy as the main focus. This basically forced the reader into thinking about lies being used as a way to convey truth. However, in, Atonement, the word truth is never really covered. Granted, though, that there is an interesting concept of truth in the book. The idea that what you fully believe may not be true, and the way it is done is elegantly subtle. There isn't this harsh contrast away from the actual story, so the author can explain or deduce what is happening or what they are trying to convey. This book had a more realistic feel to it, straying away from its philosophical brethren. The reason I think of realism is because this concept of truth directly related to a believable tragedy; because of that I believe that it is unique when put against the other books we have read.

Unable to Atone

By the end of the book, I feel that Briony has not completely atoned for her childhood 'crime'. Although I do believe that stories have to power to change things and make bad things right, I also believe that this only extends to a certain point.

I think that Briony's character expresses a great deal of guilt throughout the third part of the book, and I do believe that part of that is alleviated through the fictitious moments of happiness that she creates for her sister and Robbie. I also think that the character's very public admission of her 'crime' in the form of a novel helps to sponge away some of the guilt as well. However, I do not think that her guilt could ever be erased or that her 'crime' could ever be corrected or forgiven. It can be understood, because of her age at the time. Although I just do not believe that even her best efforts to punish herself or correct the past can make the pain that her sister and especially Robbie had to endure. Nothing short of going back in time and making it so that it never happened could fully make up for what she did, but it is endearing that she immortalized the ones she hurt most in her novel, giving them the happy ending that they so deserved, but were denied due to her actions of youthful ignorance.

The Ending of Atonement

I enjoyed the ending of Atonement. It was interesting. Briony, at the end, told the reader that the events that we read may or may not have happen. In this case, her narration is a lot like O'Brien's in that when he talks about killing the star-eyed soldier, the reader really doesn't ever know if he really killed the person or if, to him, it felt like he had. Also, in the book Lying, Lauren Slater definitely takes the reader for a ride when she says she has epilepsy, but then changes the truth, by saying she doesn't. In Life of Pi, Pi gives the interrogators two stories, allowing them to choose. Either story could be true; both stories could be false. Briony is like Pi. She describes in detail her sister and Robbie standing with her as she is about to depart for the train. However, she hints at the fact that Robbie died of septicemia and Cecilia died by a bomb. As a reader, I choose to belief the former. I feel that this book fit in really well with the other readings because it seemed to twist the truth in writing. As I was reading this, I was only thinking that this book relates to this class because of Briony's perception and memory, but because on the last page, she questions her story and thus the reader questions her story.

Atonement - Final Prompts

For tomorrow, please respond to one or more of the following questions:

1. To what extent is Briony able to atone for the mistake she made as a young girl?

2. How is the ending of this book similar to books we have already read, and how is is different?

3. If this book is, ultimately the power and capability of storytelling, what does this book have to say about stories? What can they do? What can they not do?

This is your last chance to blog about the book, so please take advantage of it.

The End

For me the ending had mixed emotions. I still don't know if I liked it or not. It really did not surprise me because we have seen this in other books with some twist. I think the reason I like the ending is because it is not the normal ending to a book and it does make you think about life in a different light. The reason I didn't like it is because I invested myself into the story and thought it was going to end somewhat happy, but it didn't. I would have rather not read it if it was going to end sad. I avoid sad movies because of this very reason. I know some people like these kind of things but for me, I like to think that all bad things can end for some kind of good and maybe this book can or does end that way. I still am not sure if Briony felt some sort of relief from guilt. I am not sure she does and so this book ends sad for me.

This book reminds me of a classic love story that I passionately hate, Romeo and Juliet. This does not mean that I hated the book altogether. There were parts of the writing I thought were good. Obviously not the over use of descriptive words. I still can't get over that it took a whole chapter and more for a little girl to run across a field to deliver a note. Back to what I was saying, I liked the part of the book when Briony talks about how she could write this love story she witnessed outside her window from three points of view in a book. This was when I realized that Briony is writing the story that I am now reading because it was exactly the way the book was written.

The End

Change of Schedule

In class today, we decided that we will not be meeting as a class on Thursday. Instead, I will be meeting one-on-one with students in my office during class time. These conferences are not mandatory, but they are encouraged. If you come, please bring your paper in whatever state it is in (draft, outline, notes, etc.) so that we can discuss it. Also, please have Atonement finished for Tuesday. I will post new prompts  on Thursday evening. Thank you, and I hope to see you on Thursday.

And, just for fun, the trailer for the film, in case you haven't seen more than what we watched in class.

Atonement Prompts

Here are some questions to think about for tomorrow. I would enjoy reading responses to any of them.

1. Cecelia's last words to Robbie-words she repeats in her letters--are "I'll wait for you. Come back." "Come back" are also the words Cecelia whispered to Briony when the latter was a very young girl, when she would waken from a nightmare (see page 41). Do you see a connection?

2. Why does Part I have chapters when the rest of the book doesn't?

3. There are several places in the reading that mention literature or storytelling. How are these significant? (Please use at least one example.)

4. Discuss the scene where Robbie and Nettle catch the pig (240-41). Compare this scene to something from another book we have read. What can it be compared to?

5. Why do you think Robbie has such a hard time putting the leg out of his mind? What might the leg symbolize?

See you tomorrow.

Poetry Readin'

Yesterday, I went to the poetry reading in the Reece Museum. The event was hosted by Jesse Graves, a professor in the English department. He introduced his book Southern Poetry Anthropology. The book includes poems by eighty different poets. Jesse Graves was the first poet to read. His poem was called, "Elegy for a Hay Rate." It was about working in the yard with his father. The second reader was Jane Hicks, known for her publications in the newsletter, The Mockingbird and for her quilts. Her first poem was entitled "Dust," and it is only published in this certain volume of poems. I really enjoyed her metaphors like "a perjury of promised rain," featured in "Dust," and "lay crucified on the quilt with love," in her poem that I think was called "Felix."

Alan Holmes was the third reader. I am not certain what the title of his first poem was called, but I think it was something like "Awning." This poem was about going to work with his father. He used descriptions like "pentacostal hair" to describe women in a hair salon. His last poem was entitled "Joan's Valley." I noticed in this poem that he contradicted Appalachain stereotypes like "backwards, southern, country." I liked that.

Don Johnson, the ETST Poet in Residence, was the next poet. His first poem, "Grappling," was about a young boy trying to figure out how to catch fist without getting in the water. His second poem was called, "Going to Chattem." It was about going to the family cabin on "Decoration Day." I liked his use of the word "directly" at the end of the poem. It fit well with what he was trying to describe.

After Don Johnson, Ted Olson, receipient of last year's Major Facualty Research Award, read his poems. He read "Writing by the Spring," his first poem ever published, "Swallows," and "River Baptism." I enjoyed "River Baptism" because it was very descriptive.

I did not catch the last reader's first name. I think her name was Areta Quillen. She read "Sunday School Lesson" and "Sugar and Spice." I liked her first poem, especially when she read that "it took me twenty-six years to figure that out, " while it took her young son a walk on Sunday to figure out some spiritual phenomenon. Her second poem, "Sugar and Spice," was about pieces of her girlhood childhood. It was light-hearted and funny.

I really enjoyed going to this poetry reading for several reasons. It was cool listening to the words of members from around this area and I liked hearing stories and experiences in a poetic form. The poems embodied both evidence of a strong Appalachian culture and a knack for literary excellence.

Yeah, I don't have to blog!

I am relieved that I do not have to blog, but because I was thinking about it I am at least going to quote a familiar thing that we have become aware of. "Self-exposure was inevitable the moment she described a character's weakness; the reader was bound to speculate that she was describing herself". (6) Yep, that about sums it up. It is hard to separate the writer from the writing because a reader will inevitable speculate.

Blogging, April 11-15

In order to allow you to focus on paper writing and keeping up with the reading, I am letting you take the week off from blogging. This will also allow me to spend more time grading your papers. However, I reserve the right to quiz you on your reading of Atonement, so make sure you are getting it done! Also, I am going to provide some make-up opportunities for those who have missed a blog or two. I will discuss these in class as well.

As always, you may post your thoughts on what we are reading at any time. You are just not required to do so this week.

Dr. Westover

Embelm

In the Afterword of her novel, Lauren Slater writes that, "Lying is a book of narrative truth, a book in which I am more interested in using invention to get to the heart of things than I am in documenting actual life occurrences." Slater goes on to talk about even her epilepsy, the main focus of the entire story, was only a metaphor. It was merely a clever metaphor, twisted from small shreds of her actual reality in order to convey a much more important truth.

To Slater, narrative truth is everything. It is her way of expressing her unstable and troubled life as she felt it while living it, not as it technically happened. The emotional impact of Slater's life, as she experienced it, is the most important type of reality to her. It takes weight over the factual truth of events. That is the reality Slater portrays in her novel. It's the reality that she felt she had to tell, like she was almost compelled to tell others about. Slater even speaks of feeling relief at having finally managed to find a way to express it in epilepsy. In the end, I loved this book even more, because of the truly artistic way she managed to use epilepsy as a metaphor to cleanly and crisply explain so many things about her life.

What Matters.

The first passage of the Afterward particularly caught my attention, because Lauren is defining what is important and what really isn't. She bluntly points out that the facts are not needed in some parts of the book, and that they cannot be in some. I felt this portrays the memoir perfectly, since she speaks of historical truth being foolhardy and coy when explaining one's own person. Throughout the book she stretches the truth, she admits lying, and she conveys herself to the reader in an empathic manner. As the reader you begin to understand Lauren on a level of clarity and faith. I say faith because you start to trust Lauren, at least I did. Despite the underlying theme of deceit in the memoir, there is this sense of truth/trust between Lauren and the reader. As the reader you expect her to explain her life-story and herself in general; this she does with any difficulties. And as the story progresses, I want to know more about what Lauren thinks and desires, rather than the factual events. The bendable, narrative truth that she praises as being the correct way of conveying oneself is what I desire. Furthermore, this passage supports the idea of this text being considered a memoir. For clarity, the definition of a memoir is:

a record of events written by a person having intimate knowledge of them and based on personal observation.

I think that she has accomplished creating a memoir, because she gives us these events in her life, whether they be factual or fictional. She also, prominently and expansively, gives us her personal opinions on said events. This entire books does. This passage in particular though talks about the overall concept that she is using. It speaks of using subjective truth rather than its counterpart, and through this she is recreating the stereotypical idea of a memoir.

Question Mark

In the afterword, Slater talks about different disorders like "epilepsy...boderline personality disorder...post traumatic stress disorder...bipolar...Munchausen's...OCD...depression...autisthat doctors have thought she had had at some point in her life (220). However, these disorders could possibly be metaphors for different phases in her life. In the novel, she suggested that her epilepsy may be a symbol for her constant restlessness, different angles of her personality, etc. Her PTSD could have been after the breakup with Christopher or the rejection of her articles. Though these illnesses are very present in modern society, I feel as though people and physicians throw the terms around. Maybe she did really have all of these illnesses. Maybe her doctors were just so confused with her psyche that they felt it necessary to put a label on her forehead. Maybe these disorders are just metaphoric of different phases of a child's adolescent life. Maybe no one really ever have illnesses; people just perceive them as different and thus place a name to their difference. Slater, in the afterword and the entire book, has shown that she is not epilepsy. She is a creative being, filled with imagination and invention that make her unique and fascinating character and thus person. However, as much as doctors and researchers explore diseases like Tourette's and epilepsy, they will not completely ever understand what is real or what is expected of the patient. Thus, diseases like epilepsy are metaphorical of people, they only ever answer questions with "a question mark" (221).

Metaphor as a Way to Convey Truth

I particularly liked the passage, "Metaphor is the greatest gift of language, for through it we can propel what are otherwise wordless experiences into shapes and sounds. And even if the sounds are not altogether accurate, they do resonate in a heartfelt place we cannot dismiss." That really sums up how I feel about this entire book. I'm not sure I agree with all the methods Slater uses in her memoir, and I'm not sure I even like the book that much, but I do have to admit that what she says does resonate with a kind of truth. I understand what she is doing, even if it kind of got on my nerves to read. And I do like the use of the metaphor of epilepsy to convey her feelings about growing up and coming of age. I think it's a very appropriate metaphor that does an excellent job of illustrating her experiences and the way she has felt about her life. I both like and do not like this book, but it has been very interesting and enlightening to read. It's a new way to look at truth, even after what we've already read in class. I do like that part.

Lying: Final Prompt

The prompt for tomorrow is very simple: choose a specific passage from the Afterword and use it as a way into a discussion of the book as a whole. In other words, discuss the passage specifically but also the book generally.

Thanks. See you tomorrow.